This is a little bit of a different post than I normally do. But I wanted to share something I made last night that turned out pretty good.
I follow a Ketogenic Diet, which is basically a low-carb, high-fat diet. At the time of this writing, it sounds a bit crazy, but I imagine when my kids DO read this it might not sound so crazy. I’ve lost about 40 lbs on this regiment.
I use it ALL THE TIME. Seriously, I rarely use any other thing to cook with anymore.
So, here is the recipe.
Note: I’m not a recipe writer, so I’m sure I’m breaking a million “recipe article” rules. This is also adapted to a degree from the site Ruled.me.
Ingredients and Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
I first melted 3-4 tbs of Kerry Gold Butter with about 1 tbs of coconut oil just enough to soften it. You don’t want to overheat it. Mix this.
Mix in 1/2 cup of almond flour. Stir well.
Now mix in three eggs, 4 tbs of Xylitol (or sugar-free sweetener of choice), dash cinnamon (to taste), 2 tbs of cocoa powder, 1.5 tsp of baking powder, 1 tsp of vanilla extra. Stir well.
You should now have a nice consistent brownie-like mixture.
Add walnuts. As many as desired. I like to mix some in the batter and then top more once it’s in the skillet.
Spread a thin layer of coconut oil on the skillet. Pour in mixture. Spread out.
Put in preheated oven for 15 minutes. Check with toothpick. If it comes out clean, your good.
If not, just do another 5 minutes and so on until complete.
I hate being that person that says Social Media is bad and it’s a waste of time. People like Gary Vaynerchuck would disagree with this sediment. Because you know it’s a tool – and a useful one at that and it connects you to people.
It’s the future…blah blah blah.
I don’t really have a problem with social media actually. It’s really more that I see it as shallow.
It’s based on this idea that there is “Deep Work” and there is “Shallow Work.”
Examples of Shallow Work:
Checking Facebook
Twitter…
Snapchat…
Responding to emails (even important ones)
Meetings
Even business trips
Examples of Deep Work:
Editing a client’s video (I’m a videographer)
Writing an article
Writing a book
Coding a Website
Deep Work is anything that is at the very core of what your job or task IS and requires you to take an extended amount of focused time to complete it.
Some of the greatest accomplishments of great men and women in history have only been completed because they blocked out distractions and set their mind to focus and deep work.
My Take Away
I checked my facebook and email today a combined time of maybe 10 times.
Let’s just say it was a fail day.
When I could have been writing a blog, working on a client’s project or building my business — I was instead checking those stupid notifications in order to let my dopamine receptors fire away at the satisfaction of it.
Here’s the challenge.
Try to limit checking your email or social media to 3 times each day.
In fact: Schedule those times in.
You’ll find (at least I did) that you’re more at peace and have more control of your time. Be in control of your life. Don’t let your life control you.
Another challenge:
Think about other things that might be shallow in your life. Get creative and see how to limit or eliminate them. Here are some ideas:
Email
Meetings
Travel
Netflix
Anything that distracts you from doing REAL and VALUABLE work.
Cal explains it better than me in his book. Just a friendly note: reading his book is almost like “Deep Work” by itself. He’s a professor, so he writes like one. 🙂
Today, I want to talk about checklists — specifically about a book I just finished entitled “The Checklist Manifesto.”
Why a Checklist?
Most of the time, when you hear about checklists, it sounds very boring. But the author of this book argues that complex problems and situations can be handled successfully by simply having a checklist.
He tells a lot of stories from the aviation, medical and construction industries on how checklists have had great success in minimizing lots of problems and getting things done correctly and on time.
In fact: It makes me feel a WHOLE LOT better that pilots have these checklists to refer to in an emergency.
How to Apply it
Here are a few things that are important when making a checklist.
They should be simple.
Only include the items that are vital to the process.
They should have no more than 7-9 items. If there are more, break it down into phases.
Since I currently own a wedding video company, I decided that an equipment checklist might be beneficial.
Here is an example of what I came up with:
The idea is that even though we may be an “expert” at something — because we’re human we may forget one or two items, which in turn could have big effects on our outcome.
This checklist is especially important at the end of an event for me. I have actually forgotten one of my recorders before.
My challenge?
If you have any regular, complex process in your life, give the checklist a chance. Of course, the author Atul Gawande who wrote The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Done Right explains this a whole lot better!
To me, it’s like exercising the muscle of your brain. And with all the distractions in this world, we do so little of that.
Unfortunately, I’ve been highly discouraged to meditate with my religious background.
You know. Yoga is the devil and all that.
So there has always been this fear around learning to meditate.
Correlation Doesn’t Equal Causation
So, I’ve been trying to find a middle ground by taking the “beliefs” out of the exercise. Many would say (my fellow Christians) that’s not possible, but I just don’t buy the argument that correlation always equals causation.
I was raised in a super conservative environment. Because the “hippies” in the 70s made facial hair popular, many in the “movement” frown on growing beards.
…weird right?
I hate this argument. Perhaps it has validity in a sense. But it’s basically the argument that can be summed up in the following…
A practice that is rooted in wrong teachings makes all elements of that practice wrong.
I don’t buy that.
Exercising the Brain. Calming the Mind.
When I think about meditation [see what I did there! :)], I think of it in terms of simply taking some time out of one’s day to think about their day and life.
To live in the present.
Too many times we go through life SO FAST, that we don’t pause and consider what we’re actually doing.
Finding Head Space
So, I found the HeadSpace App and have been using it. I really like it. It’s a guided meditation. So far, nothing weird. It just helps you stop and pause in your life and helps you become present.
When you go through life, it’s so easy to rush rush rush.
stop…
…take a moment and think about your life.
This isn’t about emptying yourself or going into another “land” or becoming your “own god.”
It’s about exercising the mind…making it healthier so you can live more present and happier.
That’s where I am right now. I’ll let you know if it changes.
Over the past few months, I’ve been “hacking” how I sleep. I learned that getting good sleep is important for weight loss, anxiety and health.
I’ve had the hardest time sleeping in the past year or so. Always getting up at least one in the middle of the night, sweating and tossing and turning.
But in the 6 months, I’ve decided to try some new things.
Practices for a Good Sleep
I still have some work to do, but here are a few things that help me get a good night’s rest.
Stop eating. Allow at least 2-3 hours of no eating before you go to bed. I personally recommend not eating 2 hours before the sunset.
Carbs at night. If you’re on a low-carb diet/lifestyle, dinner would be the best time to allow carbs.
No screen time (computer, phone, etc) 2 hours before bed. You can play around with this time to see what works best for you.
Read before you sleep. When I read before I sleep it calms be down and helps shift my mind from the crazy day. I like to do this for at least 30 minutes. For me, it’s important that it’s not an audio book or digital book, but a “real one.”
Complete Darkness. Ensure that your room is completely dark. If it can’t be done, wear eye shades.
Stay Cool. This may only apply to me, or just men in general, but I need it to be at least around 69 degrees to sleep or colder.
Signs of a Good Sleep
I have found that there are a few signs of getting a good sleep. Here are a few.
Remember your dreams. If you can remember what your were dreaming right before you woke up, that is a sign of good sleep.
Boner? I know this might be TMI. But it’s actually a thing for men (Look it up). It’s a sign of good health if you wake up with a boner occasionally — a sign of good blood circulation I guess.
Tossing and Turning. You should see a decrease of tossing and turning when you are getting good sleep.
Afternoon Naps. In my experience, a combination of good diet and possibly good sleep means you shouldn’t feel the need for that afternoon nap or get an afternoon slump. In my case, I’m not clear if this is my keto diet or good sleep as well.
You experience two emotions in life: love or fear. – Oprah
I’ve had a few things that have generated fear lately.
Interviews for jobs
Getting a full-time job (I love working for myself)
What others think of me
Thinking about your Fear
Whenever a fear comes to you make sure you…
STOP
…and think about it.
Many times, fears come and go but we never stop and think about WHY we are in fear.
Tim Ferris might call this a “Fear Dissection.” It’s when you sit down and write out all the reasons for your fear, the circumstances surrounding it and why you might be reacting this way.
Here is a possible example of one of my recent “Fear Dissections.”
On a Full Time Job
I have this fear about getting a full time job. It’s not the job itself (though that may be part of it) but more about what am I going to do once I get the job.
Will I have to quit my other part time job? How will I build my home business at the same time?
I guess I’m afraid that I can’t do everything at the same time and still have time to have a life. And also fear about the complication of it all.
Part of me still wished my film company would just take off and I could do that full time. Though it might be very tough.
In addition, I’m really worried that I just won’t get a job. I’m starting to feel that I’m simply not qualified to do it.
I feel that God will take care of me, but now I’m just feeling bad about myself and that I’m not qualified to do any job out there.
Ha, I’m even afraid that Coscto or Starbucks wouldn’t hire me.
I’m not really just how to feel, but it’s getting really annoying.
This is why journaling is so good. This is a form of that.
By getting your thoughts on “paper” you get a sense for what it really is — instead of repeating in your head over and over again.
Once you’ve dissected your fear, go a step further and write an opposite message. Personally, I like to write a prayer to God asking him for help and acknowledging his work in my life OVER that fear.
God, I know that no matter what happens that you will always take care of me and that you value me no matter what. I know that whatever you bring me, you’ll give me the ability to do it. Amen.
This is where you can apply the above principle. If there is fear present, find how you can insert love into the situation. Either toward God, others or perhaps even yourself.
Side note: “Stress” is just another word for “fear.” If you’re stressed a lot analyze it.
Minimize your Desires
“Desires” and “wants” are a precursor to fear. – Seneca
Be content in whatever state you’re in. – The Bible
If you have a lot of fears, then you may have too many desires or wants in your life. Being by analyzing why your fears are there.
Do you have an unhealthy desire to please people?
Are your financial desires more than you actually NEED?
Do you really need that new care with a high car payment?
Do you really need to go out to eat every night?
Does having a good relationship define who you are?
Start by analyzing what you really want and need in life. When you get your priorities straight, you’ll find less fear.
Realize you don’t HAVE to be in a relationship. You’ll have less fear.
Realize you don’t “NEED” that new car to impress your friends or satisfy your ego. You’ll find less fear.
Fear will always be part of your life. You have to work at it. It’s not always easy. It’s important to take the time and analyze it.
After writing this, I found this video a few days later and thought it nicely summed up how we can find common ground.
Sometimes I’m scared to even have a belief or stand on any principles.
Why?
Because for every belief or opinion I have, somebody is going to disagree. Not only will they disagree, but they will assume a number of additional things about you based on that one opinion.
Believe in Capitalism? Believe in God?
Oh, well, then you must also be homophobic, hate the environment and be against all women rights.
Believe in global warming and voted for Obama?
You must also be in favor of abortion, high taxes and more.
How do I know this is true?
Because shamefully, I do it ALL the time. And not even on purpose. (This is something I’m working on BTW.)
We’ve turned political opinions and beliefs and have skipped the part where we get to know one another first…
…you know…as human beings.
So, how do we find common ground? Or can we?
Enter in my 2008 Toyota Prius.
You see: I love this car. But some of my conservative friends made fun of me when we got it. (See how people make assumptions?) Priuses for a while were synonymous with “tree huggers” and “California.”
I still joke how I’m a Prius-driving conservative libertarian.
What my conservative and progressive friends don’t understand, is that this is where we can find a common ground.
I don’t necessarily buy into the “hype” of global warming (I’m open to learning, but just haven’t looked into it in depth), but neither to I discount taking care of our environment.
And to be honest, the primary purpose of buying my Prius was the 45 (at the time) miles per gallon I was getting.
You see, our motivations might be different. But at the end of the day, I bought a Prius. Which for Global Warming advocates should be a victory. For me, a capitalist, I’m putting more money in my pocket. We found a common ground.
Here are a few more examples I can think of…
Marriage
Conservatives: Only man and woman.
Progressive: Marry who you love.
Common Ground: Get government out of marriage completely. Let people do what they want.
Abortion
Conservative: It’s murder
Progressive: It’s a fetus. Woman’s choice
Common Ground: This may be more difficult to find common ground. But I think, and hope is that there is compassion for the individuals involved on both sides. How can we get together in a meaningful way in that way.
Environment
Conservatives: It’s a hoax
Progressives: End of the world
Common Ground: Focus on possible monetary benefits, cleaner “immediate” environment (smog, pollution, ect), energy independence.
Social Programs
Conservatives: Free Market should take care of people
Progressives: Government should take care of people
Common Ground: The important thing here is to realize that both sides actually WANT to help the needy. We just have vastly different opinions of doing so. However, keeping in mind that the goal is the same will help further the conversation.
While there are some things we may never find common ground on, I think there are a LOT more than we think.
Just because we disagree on certain issues doesn’t mean we can’t find common ground.
When you go through life, remember that there is another person on the other side of the Facebook comment and no matter how much you disagree…there is probably SOMETHING you agree one.
Always over estimate your monthly expenses and under estimate your income. This gives you “wiggle” room in the future and an extra “savings” of sorts. (Let’s say you miss a week of work. No worries. Over time, extra money has been put in those categories) In this case, you might round up everything for a total of $1,650.
Total Monthly Expenses = $1,650
Step 2: Find Monthly Expense Percentages
To do this, divide your expenses INTO your monthly income.
So for example, if the rounded up “Rent Expenses” are $1,000/month, you know that it’s roughly 34% of your total income.
Here’s the breakdown:
Rent = 34%
Groceries = 13%
Cell Phone = 5%
Utilities = 3%
Savings = 15%
Giving = 10%
Other = 20%
Total = 100% – This should always equal 100%.
The point of giving your expenses a percentage is that no matter what time of the month you get paid, those percentages will fund your envelopes.
I’ve included a screen shot of how we do it.
Your income should always have a purpose (even if it’s for entertainment) as soon as it hits your bank.
Note: You’ll also want to create a “Credit Card” envelope if you decide to use a credit card. I recommend NOT using them if you don’t have parameters or self-control.
The idea here is that over time you should put money away FROM the appropriate envelope INTO the credit card envelope. That way when your credit card bill is due, the necessary money is all there. (Mvelopes does this very well.)
Step 3: Calculate Monthly Income
I recommend underestimating your income as well. If you make $3,200, for budget purposes assume $3,000 if you can. This will leave you some extra wiggle room and more savings.
Calculate Monthly Income = $3,000
We’ve set up our Spread Sheets to “spit” out the correct amount each envelope needs. Simply multply the “Income Field X Category Field.”
We then “assign” or “move” that money to the appropriate folder. By putting in your fully monthly income into the Spread Sheet, you should come out with enough money to cover every monthly expense.
While we are not independently wealthy, God has blessed us with wisdom to manage our finances.
Either way you do your budget, just keep one. You can make it less complicated than this one or less. But it’s important to KNOW where your money is coming and going.
One of the things I’ve been thinking of lately is the legacy I leave.
Of course, a solid financial legacy is important — both in practice and teaching.
As I reach my 30s, I realize how important my health is. Not just my current health, but my health in terms of the genes I pass on to the next generation. (The study of epigenetics is very interesting.)
I want to eat and live in such a way that my offspring are healthy and strong, even on a genetic level.
This means a few things for me:
No processed foods. Organic when possible.
Keep it low carb. Healthy Fats. Consider “Slow Carb,” Paleo or Keto.
Exercise regularly
Don’t eat past 6 PM. (look up intermittent fasting)
By following these principles, I’m the healthiest I’ve been in a long time. Even healthier than my vegan days.
I firmly believe that most illnesses and diseases could be solved in the world primarily through diet.
Take away: When you eat it’s more than just YOU who are affected. Eat healthily and your kids will too. Besides, you’ll save tons of money in health care expenses.
Submission in marriage has always been viewed as negative (and confusing to me) Especially those who read “women submit to your husband” and take it out of context.
But yesterday, I learned something about submission. And it’s a turning point for me and my wife.
For a few years now, I’ve been working for myself and random startups here and there — hoping to “strike it big.” (I’m an entrepreneur at heart)
After the last startup failure, Anna told me she wanted me to get a regular job. This was the last thing I wanted to do. I hate working for other people.
My initial gut reaction was, “Why won’t Anna support me in my endeavors?” (Even though I knew she had, but I somehow felt she was holding something back. Which in a way she was, but only because of me.)
This is where the first submission came in.
The truth is, Anna didn’t feel like I was taking care of her and that I was putting myself first.
So…
It was my turn to submit to her needs and wants.
It was time to look for a job.
And so I began. After weeks of looking, interviewing and praying and still no job…the second submission came but from Anna this time.
She realized when I put her first it showed I really did care about her. She expressed to me that she fully trusted me and would support me if I wanted to pursue my own business again.
I still don’t know what’s going to happen, but those moments of trust and mutual submission are going to change our marriage forever.
Takeaway: Holding on to your own desires and wants is never rewarding. Only when we’re willing to give them up for each other do we both win.
Wisdom for My Kids 